In the 'Brook - thtsgoodsquishy's BSC snarks

Special Edition - Readers' Request: Logan's Story

2012-12-13T02:21:39Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/381720.html on 11-22-12

Tagline: Nobody's going to call Logan a girl and get away with it!

Be warned, snarkers!

So, I'm going to be honest. I'm not sure I cared enough to want a book about Logan. Sam? Maybe. Charlie? Perhaps. Janine? But of course. But Logan? He has the personality of tofu and his sole trait is that he has an accent. Somebody may have requested this story, but it wasn't me. Special thanks to my Scholastic Funtastic book club order for bringing this to my house. I can't imagine I actually went out and bought this.

( Can I request a redo? How about a story told from the perspective of one of Stacey's or Claudia's boyfriends? I've waited 20 years to learn more about Pete Black. This really could have been something special. )

So there you go--the long-awaited book on possibly the most boring person in Stoneybrook. I take back what I said about him having the personality of tofu; it's an insult to tofu. My apologies.

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#11: Kristy and the Snobs

2012-10-10T13:25:56Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Also posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/367565.html on 10-10-12

Tagline: Nobody's going to tell Kristy what to do--especially not the Snobs!

This book hasn't been snarked much, I'm guessing due to the Louie issue. That's a shame, because there is plenty of material worth snarking. Also, if you're in need of a good cry, there's that too.

( Yes, this is the book where Louie dies. Better have some tissues handy. )

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#60: Mary Anne's Makeover

2012-08-01T15:00:49Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Also posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/338967.html on 8-1-12.

Tagline: Everyone loves the new Mary Anne - except the BSC.

This book marks the first time I've purchased a BSC book as an adult. Hooray used book sale. Of course, I don't know whether it's a good or a bad thing that this was seriously the only BSC title I could find. I did find a Karen book, which I avoid on principle, and was surprise to see it too had a revised cover. When did they start doing that? Considering I worked in a bookstore for many years and only ever saw the checkerboard covers, I was truly stunned.

Alas, I was also stunned when I read this book. I'd heard about it but didn't realize just how bad it was, in terms of how the BSC treats Mary Anne for indulging her inner Stacey. I'm trying to get certain words out of my vocabulary, ones that aren't appropriate to describe 13-year-olds anyway, but dang it's hard to come up with a term that fits the situation yet isn't demeaning in and of itself. I keep coming back to hosebeast. I hope it isn't fraught with a history that makes it inappropriate to use here.

( Why? Because this book should have been titled Mary Anne and the Horrible Hosebeasts Who Hate Haircuts. Or perhaps Mary Anne and the Clones of Dawn. There you go. Maybe I'll turn Dawn into a synonym for completely horrible to somebody for whom you supposedly care. )

So, what lessons have we learned from this book?
--Getting a haircut and new clothes is a federal offense.
--Jessi and Mallory are barely worth mentioning.
--Editors are overrated.
Who says you can't learn anything from the BSC?

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#51: Stacey's Ex-Best Friend

2012-06-13T14:26:38Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Also posted to http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/315469.html

Tagline: Is Stacey's friend Laine super mature or just a super snob?

Even without the tagline, it's clear that this book isn't about Stacey's super-dibble Stoneybrook counterpart, Claudia. Otherwise the series would have gotten quite a bit more interesting, don't you think? I personally would rather see what BSC meetings would be like if the VP and the treasurer couldn't be in the room together. Alas, Stacey loses her first best friend, the one she no longer sees on a daily basis, and all because of a terrible plot point. Ready to tear your hair out with me? Let's go.

( Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you, too. )

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Note about snarks

2012-06-06T15:25:51Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

At this point, I have now copied over all the snarks I've posted to BSC Snark. Any snarks from this point on will be new and posted to both places, most likely on Wednesdays, but no guarantees. I also cannot guarantee that I will post here with any regularity.

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#42 Jessi and the Dance School Phantom

2012-06-06T14:36:52Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/294459.html on 4-20-12

Tagline: Someone--or something--is out to get Jessi!

Mmm-hmm. Something. What, like the Locker-room Ness Monster?

I don't know about you, but I've watched a decent amount of crime-solving shows. I kept thinking of them during my initial re-read of this book. The one I've been watching most recently is NCIS.

( Welcome to Gibbs slap, home of the Gibbs slap. May I take your order? )

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#52 Mary Anne + 2 Many Babies

2012-05-30T15:38:00Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/278435.html on 1-30-12

Tagline: How much trouble can a bunch of babies be?

I mean, especially, since Mary Anne is an expert baby-sitter and all. Come on.

So, you guys. You. Guys. If you have never read this book--and it's been a couple decades for me, so I'd forgotten about it--it is AMAZING. It is *so* terribad that it's awesome. Even better, it appears to be an Ann book (though, with all the parentheses, I questioned if Ellen Miles was somehow involved). This book features
--a random set of twins! Infants, even!
--Shawna Riverson, the girl who makes Claudia look like a genius (remember her?)
--MA and Dawn pestering their parents to have a baby
--Logan and MA getting married!
--EGG. BABIES. Some of whom suffer dire consequences.
Also, wait 'til you see who gets to marry Kristy. It's just...wow. I kept having to stop reading because...just, wow.

( I wouldn't be surprised if Adele's next album is inspired by this book. So much love, so much heartbreak, so many eggs. )

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SS#2: Baby-sitters' Summer Vacation

2012-05-23T18:40:16Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/266112.html on 11-22-11

Tagline: Good-bye Stoneybrook...hello, Camp Mohawk!

Okay, I'll come clean: I'm a camp geek. So a book that merges my love for the BSC and my love of camp? JACKPOT! The only thing that could have made this better would be if they went to a music camp, but nobody at this stage has that as their sole trait, so I'm left by myself as a real-life Alyson Hannigan (except I *never* did *that* with my flute. Hello, grody).

Much like the other BSC books I've re-read as an adult, this one has left me disappointed, so at least they're consistent, eh? Also consistent: Ann not knowing what the heck is going on. Like, apparently 12-year-olds don't exist. Also, if you whine hard enough, a camp will create a position for you. And then there's Karen...what, did Watson get her for a whole two weeks? Of course he'd send her to camp! Why would he want to spend time with his child? Ugh.

( I should write a book about camp. It would be more realistic than Ann's take on it. )

Well, that wasn't as snarkable as I'd hoped, but it still ended up really long. Sorry.

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Mystery #6: The Mystery at Claudia's House

2012-05-16T15:15:37Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/239966.html on 9-10-11

Tagline: Dawn's house may have a ghost, but Claudia's has a mystery!

My house has a mystery. It's wondering how this book got written. This is only Mystery #6, and they're already dredging the bottom of the barrel for ideas. I could understand if this ended up being the last one, but there are 30 more after this one. Seriously. I had it figured out by Chapter 2. (See if you can beat me!) I mean, when Mallory figures out the mystery before everyone else, we have a problem. The only saving grace is that it's not an AMM book (hello, Ellen Miles), so I can only hope that Scholastic said to her, we have a FABULOUS idea for a BSC mystery! And she went, are you serious? And then promptly dropped it on the ghostie to-do pile. Oh, there's a pile of something here.

( Nerdy girls need love, too. )

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#23: Dawn on the Coast

2012-05-09T13:03:46Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/235925.html on 8-22-11

Tagline: Dawn's a California girl!

I love how this book couldn't just be "Dawn in California," but had to be "Dawn on the Coast," since of course Connecticut is landlocked and that's the Lost Ocean of Atlantis it's adjacent to. And, of course, to a native Californian, California will always be better than Connecticut. I mean, people eat apples as snacks there! They've got to be just unheard of in the CT, because it's not like a state with a traditional fall would do well with orchard fruit...oh, wait...

This book apparently has the honor of being the first one with a ghost writer, one Jan Carr, and in reading it made me think Ms. Carr was actually from CA and had flown regularly and was adding her insight (because, of course, back in the '50s where Ann never left, plane flying was left to the super-rich and I Love Lucy).

( Enter a magical world, one where mice get turned into hats, hot dogs are the enemy, and Jessi is the most intelligent baby-sitter of them all. Are we in Fantasyland? Only briefly. )

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#17: Mary Anne's Bad-Luck Mystery

2012-05-03T13:32:21Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/213809.html on 11-22-10

Tagline: When is Mary Anne's bad luck going to end?

I felt like my bad luck was just beginning when I re-read this book...I meant to snark it for Halloween, but it was just. so. boring. However, when I finally plowed through, I discovered a world of snarktacular excitement! I couldn't wait to discover just how bad their luck was, or how far it spread! I sat on pins and needles as I waited to see just how long it took them to figure out the secrets behind the mystery. Plus, things got so serious that at one point Kristy put *two* pencils behind her ear at a meeting! My goodness! All this plus Daddy Stew, Morbidda Destiny (natch), Charlie and his Amazingly Clear Schedule, and Jackie "The Klutz" Rodowsky? And Cats? Oh, heavens. How could I ever have been bored?

( Miiid-niiight...all alone in the graaave-yaaard... )

Oh, lord. The LJ Poll of the Day question asks, "Have you ever sent out a chain letter?" Heh.

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#48 Jessi's Wish

2012-04-25T14:09:46Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/206805.html on 7-30-10

Tagline: "Do wishes really come true?"
If your wish was to read about a child with cancer, then congrats! Here you go!

Without having re-read all the books up until this point, it's hard to say for sure if this book is the proverbial shark-jumper (what, your version of the Bible doesn't have jumping the shark in its proverbs?), but it's a contender. To wit:
--Virtually no baby-sitting!
--A child with a life-threatening condition!
--Preteen and teenage baby-sitters taking the place of adults!
Wait, that last one happens in every book.

This book just...is exasperating in some ways. And in other ways, it's hard to snark. Two others have come before me and failed. I salute you, Chester Copperpots I and II, and hand you coins with the head of Martin Sheen on them for your troubles. Also, I took piano lessons recently. Andi is good to go. :)

( A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. Well, I'm awake, and this seems more like a nightmare. Pass the Unisom. )

And with that, I bid you adieu for now, as I have finished off all the not-yet-snarked and incompletely-snarked books I have. I might go through some of the other books I have, or maybe tackle a super special, but no promises. I might take requests, though.

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#18: Stacey's Mistake

2012-04-18T13:18:46Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/203938.html on 7-2-10

Tagline: "Stacey has never been so wrong in her life!"
I don't know, the constant perming probably wasn't a good choice.

If it's been a while, this book takes place while Stacey is back in NYC and therefore isn't considered a member of the BSC. However, a large-scale sitting assignment comes a-calling and who else but the active BSC members come to Stacey's rescue. What will happen when the country bumpkins spend a weekend in the Big Apple? Will I give away the plot by saying everyone becomes supremely annoying?

Also, since the book takes place away from Stoneybrook, it has the feel of a Super Special--each chapter starts with a letter written by the different members. The best part is that most of the letters go to the people they live with, meaning they'll be back home before the letters even arrive. They could just hand them off and it would be faster.

( Prepare to take a bite out of the Big Apple. Unless you're Dawn. It's not organic. )

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#36 Jessi's Baby-sitter

2012-04-11T18:37:12Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/201990.html on 6-8-10

Tagline: "Jessi doesn't need a baby-sitter--she is one!"

If, for some reason, you missed the tagline on the cover, it gets repeated multiple times throughout the book. Of the partially-snarked books I've tackled, I've noticed that most have had to deal with hard-to-snark subject matter. This one? I suspect the people who tried to snark it stopped partway through and are not yet done banging their heads against a wall. This book could have been about 120 pages shorter had the family, I don't know, sat down and set some ground rules. OMG. BEING ADULTS AND TALKING THINGS THROUGH RATIONALLY. THAT'S CRAZY.

*sigh*

So, the synopsis: The Ramsey family situation changes and John Philip Ramsey, Sr.'s sister Cecelia moves in. All hell breaks loose. Also, there is a science fair going on and half the sitters corral siblings/charges into participating in one form or another. Do you think Charlotte creates the Barbie diorama or the plant experiment? Ponder that before you dive in. Or, really, just ponder that and don't dive it. Save yourself the trouble.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

( In this book, the part of Aunt Cecelia will be played by Eric Cartman. RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAY! )

After this book, I finally understand why it takes some people so long to finish a snark. I stopped and started this several times in the past few weeks. Normally I can finish these within a few days, but man, this book got on my nerves.

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#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover

2012-04-04T19:27:19Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/200877.html on 5-23-10

Tagline: "This was going to be one long night!"

The BSC puts the "fun" back in fundraising in this book! SES students have penpals at a school in New Mexico, and when disaster strikes the sitters and their charges (plus, well, other random children) spring into action to help them out. As a reward, the BSC hosts a sleepover for the SES kids.

I'm not one to include images in my snarks, namely because I hate going back and reading older snarks and finding that the image links are broken, but I have to discuss the cover (thanks, Buggrit!). It occurs during the sleepover. Four boys are having a pillow fight in the background. In the front, our heroine Dawn is separating two little girls. The one on the left looks like Brittany from Glee, and as she's holding her teddy bear upside down, it very well could be her. The girl on the right looks like she's trying to grab her. Dawn, in her high-waisted mom jeans, has her arms out and it looks like she's touching the girls' chests. Seriously, she's gotta have a handful of fifth-grade boobage from the girl on the right. It probably doesn't help that that girl resembles Kristy. Ooh, and Dawn's hair does touch the waistband of her jeans, and it's a somewhat light blonde, so this may in fact be the most realistic Dawn on a cover. The only problem is that the cover's color is this strong orange that is really distracting...kind of a fiery orange...hmm...

( If Dawn were given a Native American name, it might be Meddles-in-Others'-Business. )

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#43: Stacey's Emergency

2012-03-28T14:22:17Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/197464.html on 5-9-10

Tagline: "Stacey just can't win."

As you might imagine, this is a Very Special ~~Episode~~ Book involving Stacey's battle with Brimley Disease. Unfortunately, that's pretty much all it involves. Oh, and textbook Divorced Parents Who Can't Stand Each Other.

( In this book, we find out what happens when Stacey eats a single M&M. Hint: She doesn't actually die. )

I'm noticing a pattern with all the previously half-snarked books I'm doing--they tend to be on hard-to-snark topics. I guess I'm glad AMM tackled some tough topics, but at the same time, I'd rather have fluffier books. Even when Claudia broke her leg, there were still practical jokes and things to lighten the heaviness of the story line.

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#39: Poor Mallory!

2012-03-21T18:13:49Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/194560.html on 4-23-10

Tagline: "Why can't everyone live like this?"
Uh, because otherwise you wouldn't have a story.

So, the title can be taken in two ways: Poor Mallory, her family is going through tough times, as well as poor Mallory, her family has no money. Which is a lie. They do have money. Just not as much as a family with eight kids might possibly need, if their troubles continued past Chapter 14.

( So, what are these problems, exactly? And why does this scenario seem eerily familiar 20 years later? )

PS--Holy crap, I had no idea we could tag each other's entries. I'm amused by the "Stoneybrook bus trip to the gutter," which was not my doing.
PPS--Over in babysittersclub, lizwiz_ totally found the monkey and banana earrings from chapter 2. How dibble!

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#16: Jessi's Secret Language

2012-03-14T15:04:42Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/192816.html on 4-10-10

Tagline: Jessi's learning a secret language for a very special child.
(Memo to Jessi: Sign language isn't a secret.)
Worth noting: This is Jessi's first book!

I have to say, this was actually kind of a sweet book on a hard-to-snark topic. But don't worry--there's plenty to discuss. For example, the lack of quality editing. Several things jumped out at me that screamed, "I was poorly edited!" Let's see how many I can find to put in here...

( Next, Jessi travels to Canada and discovers the entire province of Quebec uses a secret language! Très intéressant! )

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#19: Claudia and the Bad Joke

2012-03-07T16:10:34Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/189197.html on 3-26-10

Tagline: This is one practical joke that really backfired!

This is one of the more serious BSC books--Claud breaks her leg and considers dropping out of the club. Crisis! As such, it's not always snarkable (perhaps that's why someone else started a snark and stopped), but what the heck. I mean, it's Claudia. There's gotta be something good in here at some point.

( Claudia, when someone tells you to break a leg, they don't actually mean for you to break your leg. )

I just realized something--this was a Claudia book without any Claudia outfit descriptions! Stupid cast. There aren't even any notes about her redecorating a nightgown using a glue gun, bric-brac, and fuzzy pom-poms. I am disappoint.

PS (3-29-10): Care of grammar_nazis, Claudia apparently has a Facebook under an alias.

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#14: Hello, Mallory

2012-02-29T16:09:27Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/184081.html on 3-12-10

Tagline: "Why are the Baby-sitters making it so hard for Mallory to join their club?"

I've run out of never-been-snarked books, and was shocked and appalled to discover I am missing several books after having thought I had all of them from 1-55. However, I do have a number of partially-snarked titles and am proud to bring you my gateway drug, #14. Mallory was always one of my favorites, probably because I read one of her books first, and probably because we were the exact same age at the time. Plus, as an only child I wanted siblings, and even the Duggars didn't have as many kids as the Pikes back in '88.

( Maybe Claudia actually did drink soy sauce as a baby. That would explain a lot, wouldn't it? )

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#40: Claudia and the Middle School Mystery

2012-02-22T16:13:34Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/181783.html on 2-20-10

Tagline: "How could anyone accuse Claudia of cheating?"
No, seriously. Have they met her?

On the cover: Dude in a tie is standing in front of a board with the words "Test Results Today" written on it. Claudia is on the right, dressed in a relatively conservative outfit (rust-colored vest over a blue-with-white-stripes button-down shirt and dark jeans, plus a white scrunchie holding up a half-ponytail atop her head); on the left, a smirky Stacey look-alike in a red-and-white-striped oversized shirt and white skirt. Man, that outfit must bleed in the wash.

( The author gratefully acknowledges Ellen Miles, who was paid by the parenthesis. )

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Notes on tags

2012-02-15T18:06:46Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

I'm starting to go through and add more than just the basic tags to what I've posted so far (book number and title, plus narrator); half the fun at BSC Snark was adding all the hilarious tags. Truth be told, I also enjoyed adding at least one new tag for every snark I've done there. It would make sense, then, to include some of those tags here. So far, I don't have many, but I'd like to be able to separate them out by ghostwriter, or ghostie. I was apparently the first on LJ to notice that Ellen Miles loves her parentheses, for instance; Peter Lerangis is very into onomatopoeia for a second example. Noting who was sat for within the books is also something I'm interested in tracking.

Within the tags, though, there will be some misspellings; those generally are done on purpose, and if I catch accidental ones, well, I'll fix those. Today I've added "claudia the arteest"; readers know that Claudia is a better artist than speller, so it's a play on that as well as her trying to be a famous artist or artiste. Also, Ann M. Martin and her ghosties were fond of writing out people's accents or other speech quirks (see: Hunter Bruno and his allergy accent). That's why my Jessi dance tag is "jessi the ballet doncer," since Madame Noelle is French and is always written with her accent. This is in case someone sees the tags and think I'm doing something odd. Well, sort of, but not really.

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#49: Claudia and the Genius of Elm Street

2012-02-15T17:40:53Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/181470.html on 2-6-10

Tagline: "How could a seven-year-old make Claudia feel so dumb?"
Come up with your own ideas and ( jump on in! )

Overall, this wasn't a super-snarkworthy book, and considering it was from 1991, it was probably a signal of things to come for the kids of the future. Sad, isn't it?

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#55: Jessi's Gold Medal

2012-02-08T13:57:29Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/179290.html on 1-30-10

Jessi, our favorite black ballet dancer, wants to get involved in the SMS sports competition. But how? The cover gives away the answer--by synchronized swimming with some girl who is not in the BSC! And, also, whose left arm appears to go down to her knee. But how does this happen? And why does she want to? ( Read on! You will be shocked and titillated. )

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LS SS #4: Karen, Hannie, and Nancy: The Three Musketeers

2012-02-02T01:24:06Z

Posted by: thtsgoodsquishy

Originally posted at http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/179039.html on 1-29-10

Thanks to the what-hasn't-been-recapped post, I was able to go through my stash and pick out stuff to snark. Hooray! I was astonished to discover a Little Sister book hiding in there. Considering I was in high school when this book came out, I have no idea where it's from; perhaps it was in a book club package (hell yeah, Scholastic Funtastic). Dunno.

Now, I'm not as up on the Karen hatred as some of you, so we'll see if that changes as I read along.

First, the cover: Karen, Hannie, and Nancy are in some sort of forest, jumping with their arms up. They look thrilled to be alive. ( Oh, goody. )

I now see why so many people said they read one or two Karen books before going to the BSC novels. This was really boring. Also, I'm ready to push Karen into a mud puddle. Why Hannie and Nancy put up with the insufferable twit, I'm not sure.

By the way, this appears to be the LS version of SS #8: Baby-Sitters at Shadow Lake. Who knew there were crossover books?

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